PADDOCK STORIES

• David Ashburn was one frustrated racing driver in the paddock. He had hired the Martin Barrett F355/Ch but it broke its gearbox in Friday's practice and no-one could quite decided who was going to put up the dosh for a replacement. It therefore became a non-starter. David even tried to rent a French 355 but without success. There was a dangerous moment when a 550 Maranello pulled into the paddock and began to be eyed-up as a possible racecar
  
  
• When Duncan McKay finally got his 308 down to a lap time of 2.23 seconds in practice he felt that that was it and scoffed at the suggestion that another ten seconds could be knocked off. He then proceeded to do 2.17 in Q1, 2.15 in Q2 and finished the second race with a fastest lap of 2.13. Hey presto and job done! Duncan went home a very happy man.
  
  
• France may be the land of culinary delights but the most popular venue for the Ferrari crowd was the frittes station in the paddock where they dished up a device called an Americain Steak Hasche. This was a concoction consisting of a two-foot baguette stuffed with a steak rissole and topped up with chips. The jaws ached but by God they were good! A rumour ripped round the paddock, although hastily denied, that Christian Mineeff had managed three of them.
  
  
• Road travel in foreign parts brought its own collection of stories. Scott Winnard, driving his 328GTB to the circuit, got caught out by indecision when the road split both left and right and he went straight up the middle, badly mangling two wheels and the wishbone and making him a non-starter. Paul Jarmyn, in his flashy Lexus, was not amused when a double-decker bus out-braked him going into a roundabout.
  
  The worst sight of all had to be Ian Hetherington driving to the circuit in the morning on a moped, wearing his racing helmet and a pair of shorts, looking just like Catchpole.
  
  
• John Swift rounded up a few of his mates with promises of an exquisite dinner at a French restaurant prior to boarding the ferry at Portsmouth. His 1988 Michelin Guide, however, had not yet registered the fact that six years ago it had become an Italian restaurant called Reggine's. For some reason Swifty then announced that had he been born a girl that was the name he would have chosen for himself. Even more bizarrely there was a model of the Titanic in the window - just what you need before a ferry crossing.
  
  
• The SCS lads were at it again. Looking very twee in their identical white tee-shirts they nipped into town for a bit of after-hours fun until one of them noticed that the nightclub they were sitting in had no women and men were dancing with each other. A hasty exit ensued when the realisation dawned upon them that maybe they had picked the wrong place.
  
  
• The hotel used by most of the Brits was halfway down the Mulsanne straight and the daily journey to the paddock caused everyone to wonder at the bravery or foolhardiness of the sportscar drivers who thundered along that road at over 200 mph. It was truly awesome.
  
  

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